Because I Can
by daseyshipper
Summary: Casey's sick of being nice and perfect, always getting passed over and taken advantage of. At first Derek is surprised, but he gets worried when she starts to take her new attitude a little too far.
1. Maybe This Way

Alright, I've been pretty blocked for ideas that I could flesh out. There's only so many ways you can get to a Dasey ending, I think, and I don't generally like complete AU fics. This one is definitely OOC, but I thought it might be fun to see a different Casey, like VampWillow :) This chapter has lots of profanity, and this will probably deal with some mature subjects as Casey gets worse, so I'm rating it M. This is going to be kinda fast in terms of Casey's character (kinda like "Thirteen" which was like, Monday-bulimia, Tuesday-drugs, Wednesday-whore...), but it's what I have to do. BTW, though LWD is not mine, the song is - it's something I couldn't quite finish or put a tune to, but when I started this story, I thought it would be good to use. So please review and let me know what you think, constructive criticism welcome.

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Chapter 1

Casey admired herself in the mirror. She had spent the whole day dressed as Babe Raider and couldn't believe the attention she got. From Sam, the boys in her class … from Derek. She had to admit, she looked pretty hot.

_Maybe this isn't so bad. It's better than Klutzilla and Grub_, she considered, turning around to check out her ass. _And it does work on me… _Casey thought about how frustrated she'd been lately, her feelings and ideas always taking a backseat to Derek "I always win" Venturi. What Derek wanted, Derek got. Maybe that was the way to go. Then maybe she'd get what she wanted… she cut off the thought before it entered her conscious.

She turned on the radio and enjoyed the movement of her body as she danced along to the angry, fitting music.

_Somebody cut me off today, they overcharged me at the store  
Someone else got the promotion, no second glance from the guy next door  
I just bend over and I take it, like I do every time  
Nice guys finish last, they tell me, I'm already falling behind  
Need to make a change if I'm gonna get through this alive_

_I'm sick of getting stepped on by a soulless world  
Tired of being Miss Pushover, just a quiet little girl  
Well, I'm not shutting up this time, I got something to say  
Better take a picture, mark your calendar, find a souvenir of today_

_Because tomorrow…  
I'm gonna be the bitch in your parking spot  
I'm gonna be the princess who gets what she wants  
I'm gonna be the asshole who fucks up your plans  
I'm gonna be the whore who steals your man  
Yeah, tomorrow I'm gonna have a blast  
Tomorrow I won't give a damn  
Tomorrow I'm gonna be the bitch  
Just because I can_

_This is it. No more Little Miss Perfect, _she thought defiantly, staring purposefully at her reflection. _From now on, there's a brand new Casey – new look, new attitude. And this Casey does whatever she wants, just because she can._


	2. Start of Something New

Hmm, not getting a great response to this one. Is it because the last one was short, and rated M? Constructive criticism very welcome. I don't like this story as much as my last one either. I know it's not terribly realistic, but I'm watching "The Room" right now, and I think Casey might have some of this in her :) Ah, well, just seeing the idea through, R&R.

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Chapter 2 (Start of Something New)

Derek woke up with a start. He had been having a dream about Casey as Babe Raider, the result of which was evident by the front of his boxers. He had dreams about Casey every so often – in some she annoyed the hell out of him, and in some she did much more fun things to him. This was one of the latter, but he couldn't shake it off as easily. Casey had actually been dressed as Babe Raider the day before, somehow lending credence to his fantasy. It made him aware of the potential Casey might have to act out some of those dreams …

_Please, we're talking about Casey here, she would never do anything so … un-Casey-like._ He knew his stepsister: every minute detail of her life planned out perfectly, never a wrong choice, never the slightest descent into weakness. Only when he pushed her. He loved being the cause of her baser moments, and kept an image in the back of his mind of what it would be like to bring her down to the basest desire – to toss her onto his bed, smear her perfectly-applied lipstick with the violence of his mouth, listen to her tortured moans of pleasure as she begged him to make her…

Derek shook his head to keep the image from coming forward into his mind. It was a fantasy, pure and simple. Not only would it never happen, for so many reasons, but he didn't think Casey was that kind of girl. She was different from everyone else, it was the challenge that he loved about her, and sometimes, though he would never admit it, he even loved when she outsmarted him. A determined, intellectual equal was something Derek rarely came across in the girls he knew and something that intrigued the hell out of him.

He got ready lazily and stumbled down the stairs to join his family for breakfast. When he caught sight of Casey, he had to stop short to avoid slamming into the wall.

She was dressed in a low-cut red tank top and tight low-rise jeans, torn in spots, that hugged the curves of her lower body. She was sauntering slowly across the kitchen, bringing a delicate finger to her dark red lips to suck a bit of butter off that had smeared there. Lizzie and Edwin were seated at the table, watching her with wide eyes and dropped jaws, while Nora and George were still upstairs attempting to dress a stubborn Marti.

"What... happened … to you?" Derek said slowly, trying to regain his capacity for intelligent thought.

"I'm trying something different," she said triumphantly, flipping her hair back as she looked up at him. "I think I looked hot yesterday, and so did everyone else." She smiled devilishly – almost suggestively, Derek thought.

"Seriously, Case, I don't want to see that at breakfast every morning," Derek sputtered out, trying to keep up his façade of disgusted stepbrother banter.

Casey leaned across the table with a sly sparkle in her eyes and whispered in his ear so that their brother and sister wouldn't hear: "From the way you're staring at my ass, maybe you'd rather every night." Derek promptly choked on his milk. Casey leaned back and smiled, satisfied with her effect, and sipped slowly from her glass.

Lizzie and Edwin watched the scene like a car wreck they couldn't keep their eyes away from. When they heard their parents' footsteps coming downstairs, they broke from their trance and hurriedly grabbed their backpacks to escape what they perceived as incomprehensible horror. Casey looked slightly alarmed, and threw a long, button-down sweater over her top. Derek stared at her in astonishment, barely able to understand what was happening before George came behind him and shocked him back into reality.

The family crowded into the car to get to their respective schools and jobs. Derek took a seat next to Casey and glanced at her furtively the entire ride. _Casey McDonald, wearing slutty clothes, hiding them from our parents, and … hitting on me? What – the – hell. _Casey caught his stare and smirked. He felt like it was her answer to his thoughts, like what she meant to say was: You ain't seen nothing yet.

On the inside, Casey was still a little shocked. She couldn't believe what she was wearing, how she was behaving, what she had said. But she could feel the rush run through her like a natural high. She loved the feel of Derek's eyes taking in her body with lust and admiration, loved the thrill of forgetting her good-girl inhibitions. _So this is that fun I've been missing out on… _She felt carefree and confident. She could say and do whatever she wanted. Why had she held back for so long – what had doing the right thing all the time ever gotten her? Ridiculed, sacrificed, unfulfilled. _Well, that's all going to change, _she thought. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Derek glance at her once again, the look in his eyes a mixture of fascination and fear.


	3. Author's Note

Author's Note:

This story is not coming out how I wanted it to at all, so it's discontinued for now. I just posted a one-shot and I'm working on another idea, and maybe if I get hit by inspiration I'll continue this one, but for right now, I'd rather not just post something crappy to finish it. So, sorry if you've been reading it, thanks for the reviews, but it was turning out kinda disappointing.


	4. Good Little Girls

Alright, you've encouraged me to continue, but I warn you, updates will be slower than I'd like. Thanks so much for all the positive comments, I hope you keep enjoying the direction of the story. Again, I'm aware of how stereotypical and unrealistically paced it might be, so sorry for that, but good Dasey stuff to come in another chapter or two. Casey needs to turn over her new leaf first.

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Chapter 3 (Good Little Girls) 

Casey felt the looks swerving to her from each side of the hallway as she walked, swinging her hips slightly and letting her hair fall mysteriously over one twinkling eye. Derek could only follow a short length behind her, absolutely speechless. Suddenly Sam stopped him and pulled him aside to the lockers.

"Dude, what is up with Casey? I thought she was only dressing like Babe Raider for a presentation?" He asked, not taking his eyes off her as she leaned against her locker smiling out at boys who passed by.

"I have no idea, she said she liked the way she looked yesterday and decided to keep it going. I cannot even imagine what is going through her head right now."

"Well, I could tell you what's going through MY head right now, and everyone else's, but I wouldn't want to describe it to her brother."

Derek felt a sudden stab of anger and irritation, but shook it off. Emily had approached Casey with disbelief in her eyes, and he watched their exchange.

"Ok, who are you, and what have you done with my best friend?" Emily started to laugh.

Casey didn't know why, but she felt a surge of indignation and power, and turned to Emily with a sneer. "Best friend, Emily? You're constantly embarrassed by everything I do when I'm with you. Even Derek stands up for me more than you do. Sometimes I think he's the only reason you even keep hanging out with me."

Emily's mouth fell open and every time she started to speak, she found she could only gasp in astonishment. "C-Case, I .. If that's what you think… I mean … what…" Emily wasn't even sure what response she was supposed to give. Explain herself? Yell? Storm away in anger?

Casey didn't give her time to figure it out. She had finished grabbing her books, and looked down at Emily again impatiently. "When you learn how to form sentences about something other than Derek and shopping, why don't you let me know?" Casey said, turning her nose up and brushing past Emily nonchalantly.

As Emily stood there, astonished and hurt, Derek caught up with Casey. He was beyond intrigued now. Casey actually had a dark side.

"So you finally cut Emily loose, huh? Wow, Case, I didn't think you had it in you."

Casey stopped and turned to him slowly, pressing against his side in the process. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Derek. But maybe if you're good," she purred, running a finger down the front of his shirt, "I'll let you in on a few secrets." Without another word, she walked to her next class, leaving a highly aroused Derek in her wake.

---

Casey was amazed by how much fun she was having. She could have the world at her feet. So this is what everyone meant by enjoying your youth. She wondered how many other things she'd been missing out on. She was sitting in class, staring out the window when she saw a group of girls walking across the football field toward the bleachers. She hesitated a moment, then asked for a bathroom pass.

Outside in the hallway, Casey kept taking deep breaths, full of nervous excitement. She had never cut a class before, but she felt too alive to sit there, listening to a math lesson that she'd already read past. She no longer felt the urge to confirm her knowledge of what she already knew; she wanted something new. She wanted to break free from her shell. She wanted to be like Derek, and not give a damn about anything. No consequences, no concern for anyone else, just taking what she wanted and not apologizing for it.

She reached the bleachers and stopped to look at the girls there. One (Darcy) was hanging on the side of a boyfriend (Kenny) she had met there; he was slugging something out of a bottle concealed in a paper bag. One (Veronica) was disinterestedly smoking a cigarette and talking to another (Corinne) who was leaning back, her elbows on the bleachers, a pair of cutoff shorts showing off her legs while sunglasses hid her eyes.

"Hey," she said, trying hard to sound confident.

They all stopped and looked at her. Veronica smirked scornfully. "You lost, little girl?"

"Didn't feel like being in class," Casey replied, shrugging. She gestured with a lift of her head toward the paper bag. "Got any more of that?"

The guy snorted with laughter, and the girls looked at each other amused. Corinne pushed herself off her elbows and took off her sunglasses. She got up close to Casey, staring her down. "Who do you think you're fooling, kid? I know you. Grub, right?" She scoffed. "Don't you have a Girl Scout meeting or something to go to?"

Casey's eyes flashed. She noticed a six-pack sitting on the end of the bleacher above. _No apologies, just take what you want, like Derek._ With a smug smile, she grabbed a beer out of the pack.

Corinne went to lunge at her angrily, but Veronica held her back. "Hold on a second…" she said with an amused smile, as though she were working out some secret in her head. She turned to Casey. "So what exactly are you doing out here, princess?"

Casey had opened the bottle, a smirk on her face, and stopped to take a sip before answering. She stared directly into the eyes of the girl in the cutoffs, as if challenging her to break past her friend. She brought the bottle down, inwardly admiring how well she managed to handle the alcohol in front of the girls. "I just want to have some fun," she answered.

Veronica took her friend aside and huddled into a group with Darcy and her boyfriend, where Casey couldn't hear. "What the hell is going on?" Darcy asked with a sort of bored irritation.

"Miss Goody-Two-Shoes over there wants to have some fun," Veronica said slowly. She took a last drag on her cigarette and stubbed it out on one of the bleachers. The others waited for her to continue, as she was the ringleader of sorts. "I say she stays."

"And you want her here … why?"

"Virgin sacrifice?" Kenny suggested with a snicker.

"Listen," Veronica continued, "besides how much fun it'll be to watch the princess get drunk and go bad, it's perfect camouflage. She can get away with stuff no one would expect her to do." She looked around at the other's faces – a mixture of smirks and frustration.

Corinne scoffed and looked over at Casey. It wasn't a _bad_ idea… She turned back and threw her sunglasses on with a huff. "Fine. Whatever."

All four walked back over to Casey. Darcy lit a cigarette and stared, eyes glazed over. Veronica looked her up and down slowly, trying to make Casey uncomfortable. It worked, but Casey tried not to let it show. Finally, the girl grinned, in a way that made Casey think of horror movies she'd seen. They stared directly into each others' eyes, Casey daring her to argue, and Veronica daring her to run.

"Drink up, princess."


	5. Sugar, We're Going Down

Warning: This is rated M for a reason!

* * *

Chapter 4

Derek looked across the cafeteria at Casey and Veronica, both leaning back in their chairs, their low-cut shirts enticingly displaying their cleavage. They had been hanging out for about two weeks now, and Derek was incredibly intrigued by this new Casey. She was sexy and confident, totally not uptight, and he got the feeling that even though she wanted him, she could find someone else just as easily. He loved when girls were like that – no desperation, and just a little bit dominant. For what seemed like the tenth time that day, he imagined Casey's smooth, naked body writhing underneath him, smirking up at him, knowing he wanted her, knowing how sexy she was, while Derek pounded harder and faster inside of her, trying to make her scream.

Casey looked up and caught his stare. She subtly licked her lips before turning back to Veronica. Derek had hooked up with Veronica (and Corinne) before, but they had too many issues for him. He knew that Veronica cut herself sometimes and drank too much, and Corinne had pretty much nothing going for her besides the fact that she was an easy lay. Which was fine for an emergency – like when he couldn't have Casey – but couldn't withstand the post-climax thoughts of HIV tests. He really didn't like Casey hanging out with those girls – he'd seen her drinking with them outside by the football field, and had walked in on them dancing around in Casey's room looking pretty high. Corinne had pressed up against him in an empty hallway yesterday and let him know that she was wearing earrings she, Casey, and Veronica had swiped from the mall, before he'd pushed her off of him in frustration. He didn't like where Casey was heading, but he figured it couldn't last that long. Casey was playing around, he thought, she'd realize she was really a goody-goody honors student at heart sooner or later.

He knew that they'd all be at the party tonight, and that no one would particularly want them there. He caught Casey's eye again and gave her a sly smile which she returned eagerly. Part of him looked forward to seeing this new Casey in full force, but part of him was scared the old Casey would never re-emerge the way he was assuming she would.

Casey and the other girls skipped out of their last period to head to the mall. Her sexy wardrobe had been quite limited, she found, and she needed new clothes and makeup, especially since she had big plans for tonight. She had been playing cat and mouse with Derek for a couple of weeks now, toying with him, teasing him until she could see the reflection in his face of how painfully he wanted her. The last time they had come across one another in the bathroom, she had even lightly grabbed his crotch as a parting gesture before tossing him out the door.

Casey talked with Darcy as she casually slipped a tube of lipstick into her bag, feeling a small rush. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Casey knew what she was doing was wrong, that maybe she was going too far with the shoplifting and the smoking and the clothes. But then Veronica would smile at her, or she would feel her annoyance at the world slipping away, or someone would look her up and down in the hall with a grin, and she felt justified. She sometimes wondered for a second when the acceptance had meant so much to her, but then she remembered how stressed she had always been, how she'd always had to defend herself and her ideals and how exhausting and frustrating it was to fight and still not change anything. Then she would harden her eyes and mouth in determination and drink until the thoughts melted away.

Her parents hadn't noticed much. She had done a decent job covering up her new life, and Derek had covered for her a couple of times. In a way, it was ironic how little they'd noticed. She'd done this in part because everyone always took for granted that she'd just be perfect and compromise for everyone else, so no one bothered to pay much attention to her needs or complaints.

The only thing that bothered her lately was Lizzie. The way her little sister looked at her lately made her sad – Lizzie's eyes would glisten with a hidden disappointment she seemed afraid to let through or give words to. When Casey caught her eye, Lizzie would quickly turn away, with a heaviness to her that gave the impression of the world weighing her down. It always made Casey feel a tinge of guilt, but she would shake it off with resentment and tell herself that Lizzie would understand when she was older that this was the only way to get what she wanted. At least, that's what Casey had started to believe.

Darcy dropped her off at home when they had finished shopping. Casey found Veronica absolutely magnetic, and Corinne was just a slut who was constantly waging a war with her for Veronica's attention, but Darcy bordered on the ingratiating. She was bored with everything, chain-smoking her way through the day, sleeping with Kenny to get through the nights. Casey fleetingly questioned why Darcy didn't seem to be having any fun …

It was 5:00 when she got home, and she knew that neither of her parents would be home until after six. Lizzie, Edwin, and Marti would be at latchkey until then, since Casey and Derek usually had after-school activities – hockey practice or detention in Derek's case, newspaper, yearbook, and various committees in hers. She hadn't been to one of her meetings all week. A vague feeling she couldn't name flashed inside her when she realized it, but she blocked it out before she could analyze it.

Heading up the stairs, she heard the shower running in the bathroom. With a slow smile, she remembered another reason why she'd started acting this way and decided to have some fun. She turned the knob on the bathroom door and quietly entered.

She could see Derek silhouetted through the shower curtain – he was rinsing the soap out of his hair. She backed against the door to shut it, deliberately making it click closed loudly.

Derek stopped. "Who's there?" he called, curiously, not very aware of what time it was. Casey smirked and kicked off her open-toed heels before answering back, "Why don't you take a look?"

Casey's voice sent a warm sensation through his body. So this was it, he thought. He slowly pulled back the curtain, and looked her over. She wore the same cleavage-baring deep red shirt as this afternoon, but had changed her jeans into tight pleather pants she had gotten at the mall. He gave her a lusty smile. He'd been with enough girls to know where this would go, although he never imagined Casey would be one of those girls. "Need the shower, Case?"

Casey responded by pulling her shirt over her head to reveal a thin red translucent bra. She ran a hand through her hair to fix it, but mostly to hold the pose for Derek. She reached to the back zipper of her pants and eased out of them to reveal a thong of the same see-through thin red mesh as her bra. Derek stared at her so hard, she could almost feel his desire warming her body along with the steam.

"I think we can work it out," she said, walking over to him. He followed the lines of her legs, the curve of her waist, up to the smooth skin peeking out from her bra and followed it to the slope of her neck. _God, she is beautiful…_ he thought, sensing something different in this feeling.

When she reached him, she turned around and offered the bra clasp to him. She threw a coy smile over her shoulder, and asked quietly, "Would you?"

He let go of the shower curtain and reached for her. He undid the clasp, and ran his hands up her back to slide the straps off her shoulders. She shifted her arms and the bra dropped to the floor. When he brought his hands back down, he ran them down the side of her upper back and cautiously reached around to cup her breasts. He waited for her to scream, to realize what she was doing and back out, but she didn't. When his fingers grazed her nipples, she moaned and tilted her head back, allowing him to bring his lips down to softly brush her neck.

After a minute, she leaned over and slowly slid her panties down and off. Derek brought his hands from her breasts down her back and rested them on the sides of her ass, enjoying the view. When Casey bent back up, he slid his hands forward to tickle the soft tufts of hair between her legs. He did everything slowly wondering when she would stop him.

Casey turned around and stepped into the shower, backing Derek against the wall to give her room to enter. She leaned her head back into the water and let it wash over her, knowing Derek would enjoy it. When she looked back at him, she only smiled and waited. Derek fought his urge until he felt he couldn't bear it anymore. He grabbed her and kissed her hard, the water running over both of them. Their mouths opened to each other, their tongues lightly touching, their hands running over each others' bodies…

They moved back against the wall. Once Derek's pent-up lust had come to the surface and been actualized, he felt himself soften. He savored the taste of her, the gentle way she touched her tongue to his, her soft lips. He enjoyed the feel of her skin under his rough hands, letting them roam the feminine curves of her body over and over. He felt something surging through his chest, something that went beyond lust. Casey felt incredible in his arms, against his skin. Casey was …

Casey was sliding down to the shower floor, kneeling in front of him.

Casey stared up at Derek, trying to keep her eyes lusty and hide the fear behind them. She reached forward slowly and took his erect dick in her right hand, cautiously stroking it, gently pulling her hand up and down. She saw the look of shock pass over Derek's face. She looked at his body in front of her, all of him hard, and took a quiet, deep breath. _This is what he wants_, she thought.

Derek watched with excitement and apprehension as Casey leaned forward and took him into her mouth. Slowly she moved her mouth up and down his shaft, sucking lightly. She paused once in a while at the beginning to tease him with her tongue, swirling it around the head of his dick and gently licking and sucking the tip. Getting the hang of the motion, she began to take him deeper into her mouth with each lowering of her head, while still stroking him every time she moved back. Derek's eyes were shut tight with pleasure as she sucked him hungrily, and he willed himself to cum.

"Casey … oh god, I'm gonna cum," he let out in a sharp breath when he felt himself about to climax. He looked down at her. Casey didn't let him go, instead sucking him faster until she felt him release into her mouth. He watched her swallow and take his dick out of her mouth, gently stroking his erection. She quickly wiped at her mouth and Derek turned his head away from her. Something about it just wasn't right, and he felt himself crash down from the ecstasy he had been experiencing.

He pulled Casey up from the shower floor and held her against him while they both caught their breath. He stroked her back as he fought back the disappointment and … disgust? No, he could never be disgusted with her, and it wasn't what she had done that had angered him, but how it had happened. He'd always wanted to do these things with Casey, but, he realized surprisingly, it was the old Casey he wanted. The Casey who would've teased him with a brilliant fire in her eyes, not empty lust. The Casey who wouldn't be on her knees sucking him off with a lip-lined mouth. The Casey who would have more respect for herself than to throw herself at him in the shower and wipe his cum from her mouth without a word. Those were all things he expected from Darcy or Corinne, who went through her days like hookers, silently doing their job and then climbing back into their leather mini-skirts and lighting a cigarette like they had never expected to be treated any other way.

Derek pushed her off of him slightly and looked at her. She seemed lifeless and miserable. He kissed her softly, sadly, and stepped out of the shower. Grabbing his towel, he looked back at Casey, who had pulled the curtain in front of her body and was peeking out cautiously, like she was afraid to look at him. Her eyes questioned him, but she didn't say a word. When Derek realized she wouldn't speak, he turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

The sound jarred Casey from head to toe. She scrubbed at herself angrily, fighting the tears that threatened to come forward. She hadn't come in to the bathroom with the intention of giving Derek a blow job. She hadn't really known what would happen, but she didn't think it had been what she meant to do. It just seemed like … what she was supposed to do. Wrapping herself tightly in a bathrobe, unconsciously comforting herself, she marched into her room and shut the door. She dug into her underwear door and rolled a joint from a stash she had there. Veronica had shown her how to roll weed, and left her some, but she had never smoked by herself. Pushing the shame of what she'd done back into her mind, she relaxed as she inhaled heavily, letting the smoke roll out an open window. Leaning back against the headboard, she reached languidly for the small bottle of Jack Daniels hidden in her nightstand drawer. As she slowly built up the wall to keep any serious thoughts from fighting their way into her consciousness, she absently wondered if any of this would ever be enough.

* * *

AN: I think I may have written the first Dasey oral sex scene. Am I wrong? R&R, thanks! 


	6. Fall From Grace

Hey everyone, I finally found time to update! Haven't read any fics in days either! A couple of things to mention:

1) mentions in a new cast member in all their episode listings for Season 2, but I'm not quite sure what goes on with him. I think it's a him. Also, it looks like Disney (USA) is going to start showing LWD Sat, Sun, Tue, Wed, Thurs! (not that I benefit since it's at 3pm and 3am), but still all Season 1 eps through June 14 (that's as far as the listings go). Sigh.

2) Is anyone able to upload any LWD episodes onto YouTube or something? There's almost nothing there, and I'd hoped to see at least ONE Dasey fanvideo! Pheely has dozens!

3) Could one more person, maybe a new reader if you haven't seen it, review my "What You Need" story, lol? It's hanging there at 49 reviews and my OCD is crying for 1 more review.

Alright, here's the next to last chapter of this one. All confusion will be explained in Chapter 6. Song is "I Am On Your Side" by Hawthorne Heights.

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Chapter 5 (Fall from Grace) 

Casey eased herself back into the tight pleather pants she had been wearing before but replaced the cleavage-baring shirt with a black tube top worn tight and low over her chest. Her humiliating display in the shower replayed over and over in her head, and the weed and alcohol she had used to wash it away had only made her further depressed. She smoothed on blood red lipstick apathetically, and felt only weariness in response to the thought that kept floating through her mind: _I already feel like a whore anyway, so what difference does it make what I do?_

_I never meant to hurt you  
Sometimes these thoughts have a way of making sense  
Secrets that we keep turn into accidents  
If you burn away the bonds with the fire of selfishness  
The positive and negative have a way of blending in_

She brushed her hair down over her pale skin, then ran her fingers through it to toss it back. Haunted eyes greeted her, but she turned away when she heard Veronica's car horn beep outside. Plastering a smile to her face, she zippered a jacket over her shirt and ran down the stairs as quickly as she could. She yelled down to George and Nora's basement bedroom.

"Mom, George, I'm going out with some friends, I'll see you guys later!" she chirped innocently.

"What time will you be back? Is Emily going with you?" Nora yelled up.

Casey grimaced. "No, Emily has to babysit her little brother," she lied. "I won't be back late at all, don't worry about me!"

"Alright, sweetie, make sure to call!" Nora answered, fully trusting her daughter as she always did.

_This couldn't be any easier, _Casey thought, running out to Veronica's car.

---

Derek watched out the window as Veronica sped off dangerously. He was no angel, he admitted that. He did his share of drinking and he wasn't exactly a virgin, but he thought he was just like any other hormonal teenage boy testing his limits. Derek knew where to draw the line – he'd never drank alone, always used protection, and had never done drugs. He remembered the time Casey had accused him of selling drugs at school and how offended he'd been that she could even imagine such a thing of him. But he figured to the old innocent Casey, he must've seemed like a real bad boy.

He wished it had stayed that way. The new Casey had excited him at first. Casey in leather with a badass attitude – it was what his wet dreams were made of. But she had only been like that for a quick minute before she devolved into some generic self-loathing bimbo. She had stopped not caring what people thought, and just started not caring. He'd always wished she'd loosen up a little, but he was thinking more like Emily, only ... still Casey. He had never even considered her being compared to someone like Corinne. And he never imagined she'd do what she did in the shower.

Derek was still trying to sort out his feelings about all of this. His reaction to the shower incident had confused him, and he didn't know why he felt himself desperately missing the old Casey. He had made up his mind to watch her at the party, and talk to her about what she was doing in the morning. He knew more than she thought he did. Derek wasn't stupid or blind, he knew everything that went on at his school, and his house. He couldn't let this happen to Casey without trying to stop it.

_End this now, we've gone too far  
Let's take back words that turn to scars  
If I could find a way to turn back time  
Had to let you know I'm on your side_

_--- _

Casey slugged the tequila from the bottle before passing it back to Veronica. She, Veronica, Darcy, Corinne, and Kenny were stopped in a dark parking lot, getting trashed before the party. The liquid numbed her tongue and sent a warm burn down her throat. She took the bottle back again eagerly, enjoying the numbing effect it had on her mouth and mind. The Jack hadn't helped. But the Jack, the joint, the tequila, the makeup, and the beer were starting to make it better.

"Slow down, Princess, leave some for the rest of us," Corinne sneered, grabbing the bottle viciously.

"Oh, shut up, I'll get you another one," Kenny said, grabbing the tequila back and handing it to Casey. "I want to see how much the girlie can handle." He smirked, and something about it frightened Casey. She thought of Derek's smirk, and how sometimes she thought she saw genuine love and humor behind it. Kenny's smirk was different – it made her insides shudder.

There was about half a cup left to the bottle, and Casey accepted the unspoken challenge, swigging it down slowly, closing her eyes. Instead of enjoying the alcohol, there was now a vague feeling trying to fight its way through: she felt as if someone were holding the other end of the bottle and forcing it down her throat, but she knew it was only her. Eventually, she knew, the fog would take over and she would forget the little waves of anxiety that played on the edges of her mind…

_Took the easy way out, I shut myself down  
The only way to ease the pain is to drink until I drown  
I'll say it out loud, my voice is the only sound  
So listen up, I'll spell it out  
I need your help, I need it now_

_--- _

The party was in full swing by the time they got there. Casey noticed through her haze that some people turned away from the group when they entered, looking irritated. They often got the same looks at school, but Casey had brushed it off as envy. She and the other girls were free, free from all of their rigid expectations of what they should act like. Casey felt her unconscious nudging her, like there was some connection she was supposed to make with this thought, something important, but she couldn't focus enough to name it.

Veronica pushed someone aside on her way to the keg. Kenny and Darcy threw themselves onto a couch with their feet up on the table and lit cigarettes. Corinne plastered herself against a dark wall with the beer she'd carried in, looking bored, waiting for someone to approach her. Casey felt a collective sigh around her as she stumbled after Veronica, as though this was what always happened, and everyone had just decided to put up with it.

Casey ran into Derek in the kitchen. Literally. He caught her as she tumbled into his chest when she rounded the corner to the keg, and held her by the elbows as she stepped back to see who she'd hit. She almost tipped on her heel once more as she stood staring into his eyes. She had met his stare hopefully, but put her head down quickly when she saw his face. He peered at her hesitantly, with the same reluctant look that Lizzie had been giving her, as if he'd rather be looking at anything else.

Derek looked at her, in a state he'd seen so many times on other girls. Girls he'd never cared about. Girls he'd taken advantage of to a certain point. He looked at Casey – and pushed her away. His resolve from earlier faded away, and he stiffened. He wasn't ready to deal with this, he'd never been the savior – he'd never not been the screw-up. He didn't know how to help her. If he'd thought about it a little more, he would've realized that he was actually scared.

_End this now, we've gone too far  
Let's take back words that turn to scars  
If I could find a way to turn back time  
Had to let you know I'm on your side_

Casey flailed slightly, catching her balance when Derek released his grip on her. She felt cold where his hands had been. She remembered the warmth of the alcohol and grabbed a bottle off the kitchen counter, not even bothering to see what it was. Glaring at Derek through fuzzy, lowered eyes, she walked quickly out of the room, bringing the bottle to her lips.

She entered an empty bedroom off to the side. It was still early, no one was coming in for privacy yet, she thought, amused. She stretched out languidly on the bed, closing her eyes, trying to quell the dizziness storming in her head. Every so often, she lifted the bottle from where she was resting it on her stomach and took another swig.

Casey heard the door squeak, felt the foot of the bed dip down, and opened her eyes. She felt like lying down had made her nausea worse, and she tried to concentrate on seeing who'd come in. "Hello?" she asked.

"Hey Princess." It was Kenny. She looked around for Darcy, but couldn't make out anyone else. Holding her head up became a major effort, and she let herself collapse back to the pillow, closing her eyes once more. "You feeling okay?" he asked.

"I'm so dizzy," Casey heard herself respond sleepily.

"Here, take an aspirin," he laughed. Her mouth was slightly open and he placed a pill on her tongue. She took a long slow drink from the bottle, the kind Kenny had wanted her to take in the car, and the pill washed down her throat. Casey didn't know how long she remained motionless. She felt Kenny get up from the bed and heard the squeak of the door hinges again. She heard a click.

Casey managed to sit up, feeling like her head was bobbing back and forth. "Where's Darcy?" she asked. "She's out there dancing, like she always does when she trips. Just stands there dancing…" he trailed off. He approached her, sitting down close to her on the bed. He began to kiss her neck. "What are you doing?" "Just relax…" He ran a hand up her chest and squeezed her. _Derek, _she heard the word repeat in her mind helplessly, too many different emotions attached to it. He pushed her back on the bed. Her eyes flew open, her head ached, her body convulsed, her voice slurred, "Stop it, stop it, what are you doing?" She pushed at his body covering hers in vain. She pushed and cried as he pressed against her, reaching down between them. She looked around the spinning room, she heard voices, she forgot where she was but she felt something on top of her and she pushed again.

The weight suddenly flew off her body. Two shapes stood in front of her. She struggled to stand up before the shape could press down on her again. _Derek, Derek_, she heard the shrill cry, but she didn't know where it had come from, or even if it had been voiced out loud. She felt herself run, and then suddenly there was nothing.

_Am I now everything that you wanted me to be?  
Tried my best, took a shot in the dark and I lost_


	7. Bring Me to Life

Alright, well, here's the end of the story. I'm not crazy about how it turned out, I know the whole thing has been kinda OOC, but I have two more ideas that I'm working on, and hopefully I'll do it better next time. Anyway, apparently has Season 2 starting July 1st with an episode called "Date with Derek", but it's user-updated, so I don't totally rely on it. Also, some people say it's been cancelled, but there's no mention of that on Ashley Leggat's myspace, so... Okay, on to the story, R&R please!

* * *

Chapter 6 (Bring Me to Life) 

Derek sat next to the hospital bed, surrounded by the metallic beeping of the machines in the room. The rest of the family sat out in the waiting room. When the family had rushed in to the room, the nurse had told them that only one person could stay, and George and the kids had moved to leave so Nora could stay with her daughter. George had stopped when he realized Derek wasn't following him, and called to him. Derek had turned to him slowly, his eyes hard, and said, "I'm not leaving her." He turned back without another word.

Nora had wiped at her eyes frantically, "It's okay, George, I can't stand here anyway. I can't look at her like this." She knew her daughter was okay, she knew they were just waiting for her to wake up, but she couldn't bear the sight of her in that hospital bed, knowing how she'd come to be there. In a way, Nora was ashamed that it had gotten this far without her even knowing, and she felt guilty standing by her daughter's side, because she had gotten there too late.

Derek had been sitting by Casey's side, staring at her face unceasingly ever since. His mind wandered to the events at the party.

He had seen Casey go into the bedroom, but had then been pulled into a conversation with Emily who seemed to be throwing herself at him even more often since Casey had ditched her. He didn't know if it was because Casey wasn't blocking her crush anymore, or if she wanted to be like the new Casey, or if she just had nowhere else to go. Distracted, he hadn't seen Kenny go into the bedroom, but caught sight of him when he stood up again to close and lock the door. Derek had pushed past Emily and run to the door, trying to force it open. Looking around panicked and feeling his pockets, he found nothing to open the door with. He had run in a flash to the kitchen and grabbed a butter knife from the drawer. It was a weak inside door lock, and he pushed the knife in between the door and the frame, forcing the door open. He ran at Kenny, a rush of adrenaline allowing him to pull the other boy off Casey. Kenny had whirled around and grabbed Derek by the front of his shirt. The two boys struggled as Casey ran out. He didn't see Casey fall outside the bedroom, and only managed to break away from Kenny when he heard someone scream. Throwing Kenny off of him, he had run out of the room and saw Casey on the floor. Veronica and Corinne stood over her laughing.

"Looks like little Miss Perfect got what she wanted," Veronica sneered.

Noticing Kenny in the room, Corinne smirked. "Yeah, some fun and a little Ecstasy, am I right, baby?" she said, turning to Kenny and laughing.

As they spoke, Derek had dropped down to the floor to join others who were trying to get her to open her eyes. Someone had called 911 and Derek could only shoot his eyes back and forth across her face in fear, choking back a scream. He kneeled by her until the ambulance came a few minutes later. He rode with her and the EMTs, who quizzed him on what she had drank and taken (he only knew she'd taken some whiskey off the counter and Corinne's mention of Ecstasy), and seemed concerned that she would choke on her vomit while she was passed out. At the hospital, which Derek was grateful was not far, they had pumped Casey's stomach and Derek had called the family.

Until they had let him see Casey, he had paced back and forth nervously, forcing his tears back, screaming at himself for not stopping her in the kitchen. _It was your job to help her, to save her, why did you let this happen! _He heaped every guilt and mistake possible on himself, cursing how long he'd let it go on like this because he'd liked slutty Casey, ignoring everything else she'd been doing. He felt responsible – he was supposed to take care of her, as her stepbrother, as someone who loved her.

_As someone who loves her. As her stepbrother. Who loves her. Oh god, tell me what to do_, he thought, dropping his head in his hands, taking his gaze off her for the first time.

"Derek?"

He looked up at her, at her pale face, her tired eyes, her small shaking body. Derek stared at her and couldn't speak. He could only lean over her and hold her tightly, allowing one tear to drop as he put his head on her shoulder, where she couldn't see it.

When he leaned back, he saw that she was crying also. "Derek, I can't remember, I just remember calling out for you -"

"And I heard you," he smiled. She hadn't called for him out loud, but now he knew he had been there for her, when she needed him. "You're okay, Casey. You had a lot of alcohol in your system, and Kenny gave you some ecstasy, and then he –" Derek stopped, angry. He didn't want to say it. He had stopped it, and that was what mattered. They would talk about it when she was ready.

Casey looked away. She knew what he was going to say, she could see it in his face, in the way he'd broken off his words. She closed her eyes, trying not to think about it. She knew this was all her fault. If she hadn't wanted to be someone different, someone Derek would want. She swallowed back her tears and looked at Derek.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"It's not your fault," he said, holding her hand.

"Yes it is. I wanted people to notice me. I was tired of being ignored. People always expected me to be perfect and to understand everything and always do what was good for everyone else. I was just trying to be different, and go by my own rules, and stand up for myself … and it turned into something completely wrong."

Derek stared at her. She really didn't know. "Casey, you didn't have to do all this. You've always fought for what you want, you've never sat back and taken _anything,_" he laughed. "You are the strongest, most determined girl I know, and you'll never hear me admit this again when you're not in a hospital bed, but I wouldn't want you to be any other way. And I didn't know it until all this happened." He stopped. "Casey, drinking and drugs and shoplifting," he caught her look of surprise and shame that he knew about that, "that isn't you. You didn't need to do those things if you wanted to be noticed. You've never been easy to ignore, and I don't know why you thought anyone ignored you anyway."

"Not anyone," Casey said quietly. "You." She saw his confused look and took a deep breath. "I wasn't really looking for everyone to notice me. I wanted you. To notice me," she continued quickly. "I thought that if I was sexier and more fun and more like you … well, that was the plan anyway …"

Derek was starting to understand. "You did all this … to get my attention?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Casey blushed and looked away. "Casey, you … I mean, sure, you need to relax a little sometimes, but … Why do you think I've had to work so hard since you came into the house? You're definitely a lot more devious and more like me than you think." He smiled. "Remember that shampoo fight in the bathroom?"

They both laughed, and then faded into silence for a minute. Casey wasn't sure if he'd understood what she was trying to say, and almost hoped he hadn't, since he hadn't really said anything about it. Derek was trying to process what he thought she meant and wondered what he should say in return.

"Casey-" "Derek-" they started at the same time. They smiled.

"Casey, I'm sorry you thought you needed to do this for me. Because you never did. I already thought you were sexy and fun… But in a way, I'm glad it happened, because it made me realize how I felt about the old Casey. And I want her back. And I want to be with her."

Casey smiled, tears in her eyes. "I want her back too. And she wants to be with you." She suddenly realized what she must look like. "Oh god, I can't believe I'm saying this now, this was not how this was supposed to happen. I'm in a hospital, after completely self-destructing, and if I look anywhere near as bad as I feel –"

Derek moved his hand to her cheek and cut her words off with a kiss. "It doesn't have to be perfect. It's just us/"

He looked into her eyes and she melted. His words and touch calmed her, and she leaned up to kiss him again sweetly. He walked to the door to tell the rest of the family that she'd woken up. "Hey Casey?"

"Yeah?" she smiled.

"Maybe when we get home, we can talk about old Casey keeping new Casey's wardrobe," he shifted his eyebrows suggestively and winked. She laughed and tried to throw something at him, but she was hooked to an IV. She growled and Derek laughed at her misfortune.

"I'll get you later!" she called.

"I'm looking forward to it," he said, closing the door.


End file.
